Me, Myself & I…

ello everyone…

it’s been so long since I update my blog. & y I even bother updating? I hv no idea. hahaha…

officially Thursday, 23rd of Aug is my last day of school but I decided to take earlier break coz I’m down wif flu & leaving for Kelantan on dat night.

last week is my niece, Mazidah’s wedding & I really enjoy myself although I was freaking tired. I regret not taking lots of photos as I was busy and trust me, I will attach myself to my cam to take lots & lots of photos for those who nvr get de chance 2 b there.

I guess I wanna stop here for nw coz I wanna play Dynomite. bubye…

ello… I’m in class rite now. actually I wanna post some important stuff bt have been very bz lately. so here I m, pretending I that I’m listening to teams presenting while I’m here listening to music and typing stuff. btw dun tell other ppl ah. hehe… it’s a secret, shhhhh…..

1st of all, I wanna say Thank U soo much to my fren, Nurul ‘Izzah Bte Khamsani, coz she help me out wen I’m really down. although we r nt close, we understand each other very well & knw deep in our heart dat we could rely on each other. she knew de reason y I was so depressed on Mon (post b4 diz). so again ‘Izzah, THANK U very much. Luv U alwayz…

oh ya ytd my niece, NurFarhana Bte Omar, 20th B’day. I wish her 2 or 3 times liao so dun xpect 2 Happy Belated B’day ah. I promise 2 pay for her HARRYPOTTER & THE ORDER OF PHOENIX movie tickets every she watch it. den I’ll buy for her HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS once the American cover’s out. m I a nice Aunt or what?! so Ana, b grateful dat U hv de nicest Aunt in de whole wide world. YAY! =P

I really can’t wait 4 nxt week lei coz HP movie is coming out. wuhuuu!!!!!! I’m so happy. I freaking gonna book 4 de tickets coz I muz watch it once it out. hehehe… furthermore 2 of my frens dat is studying in Azhar is coming back 2 S’pore. =D so happy sia

rite now I’m so sleepy. I really need 2 sleep. I need my beauty sleep. wanna knw smthg? it seems dat I dun feel sleepy and tired once I reach home. wen I’m outside, I’ll keep yawning & even sleep in the car on my journey frm hospital (visiting my bro) to my house. bt once I stepped into the house, I feel so hyper & fresh. argh! diz hv 2 stop coz I can’t afford 2 b sleepy in school & workplace. haiz… i really dunno whether I should go & visit my bro coz I’m reli tired la. haiz…

k la GTG. cn hardly open my eyes rite now. peace out!!!

1st of all, I juz wanna say dat I’m sssssssooooooo Happy =D I juz loving myself rite nw. oh ya dun 4get luving Haira also. I Luv U Girl! hehe. U wanna knw y I Luv her? ahh… she help me out wif smthg & dat smthg is 4 me 2 knw & 4 U 2 nvr find out. hehe…

I’m Loving myself coz I juz ordered HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOW. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! how cool was dat? ok nt reli dat cool bt still it make me go WILD! hahaha… I feel like screaming 2 de whole world. I knw U mite say dat I’m going out of my mind 4 smthg dat is "stupid" bt I really am CraZy over HARRY POTTER, so I hope U guyz understand. plzzzz……..

U mite b wondering y in de world I put ‘So Hard…’ as my title for dis entry while I juz talk abt how Happy I am. well, rite now I juz feel sad. sad & depressed over smthg dat I should have manage 2 get over with a long time ago. It is juz So Hard 2 move on wen U (in diz case, me) reli dun wanna let go all de memories dat means a lot to U (yah, me). it is sooooo freaking Hard. I hate to b sad, depressed over smthg dat happen almost 5 yrs ago. now de day is coming nearer & nearer & I’m still wondering how I still manage 2 breathe de air dat I’m breathing rite nw.

let juz say dat de ‘incident’ dat happen almost 5 yrs ago reali affect my life so bad dat I dunno whether I could b de same as b4 de ‘incident’. another 3 months 2 go & I already feel bad, sad & depressed.

nw I’m crying bcoz I’m angry. Angry 2 de fact dat it hv 2 happen, Angry dat I hv 2 live wif it 4 de rest of my life, Angry dat I hv 2 feel like diz every single year, Angry dat I’m hopeless, can’t do anything abt it & move on…

I’m trying 2 write my frustration out coz I dun tink I cn keep it all inside me any longer. I need 2 go & hv a gd cry until no more drop of tears will flow down my (CUTE) cheeks. I really want 2 stop all diz nonsense bt I’ll fail miserably. I feel so SAD juz bcoz I hv 2 throw away some stuff dat I’d been trying 2 keep as it held 2 many memories 4 me. how pathetic cn dat b? if only I could tell de pain dat I’m suffering… if only I could demonstrate wat hv happen… if only I could face de hurtful reality… if only I could turn back de time… all, If Only…

I hope my frens could help me thru diz coming 3 months. I want 2 b Happy, I want 2 b wif my frens & family, I want 2 b really really Happy & I want to b ME!!!

~ even though de bleeding hd stop, de scar will forever remain & I cn still feel de pain ~

yup! it’s been Sooo Looooong since I update my blog. hehe. 3 months 2 b exact. I guess I had been freakingly bz & had come up wif a new hobby dat I really enjoy doing everyday, without eating or sleeping. so basically other than do my school stuff, I’ll b spending hours on my bed reading fanfiction of Edison Chen & Charlene Choi (ya! it’s my new hobby). I really believe dat both of dem make de CUTEST couple ever. hehe…

U might b wondering aftr 3 months absence, y I suddenly decide 2 put an entry? well Haira (1st yr, 2nd sem, RP fren) asked me ytd (Fri) y I nvr update my blog. & juz kinda realise it too so I promise her to write an entry ytd & read her’s bt I wasn’t in de mood. so Haira, diz post iz 4 U & I’ll read urs after diz k. I promise. LUB U!!! (heh)

lots of things have been happening 2 me 4 de pass 3 months. my niece gt married, 1 of my fren also. so when izzit my turn? hahaha. joking =P

my niece, daughter of my 2nd half-brother, married to a guy frm Terengganu therefore she held 2 weddings ceremony, 1 in Kuala Lumpur & another in Terengganu. I’d nvr been 2 Terengganu b4 so I really wanna go there. unfortunately 4 me though, my fren’s wedding was on de same day as my niece’s in Terengganu. I was kinda torn apart & @ last went to Terengganu as my bro bought the ticket alrd.

so I juz wanna say diz 2 Suria Kidam (my fren frm MWTI): Ampun & maaf dr Bella coz tk dpt menghadirkn diri ker hari persandinganmu. I’m reli sorry. Aku mendoakan semua jodoh mu berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat dan dikurniakn anak2 yg soleh & solehah & hidup berbahagia selalu. Amin =)

haiz! I better go now coz I wanna read fanfiction. hehe. I knw I’m SICK! hope 2 c ya soon…..

peace out

ello! haiz. it’s been a week now since I update my blog. been bz playing GTA dat I nt onli 4gt to post an entry abt my trip 2 Malacca, bt I also miss my fren’s B’DAY. I feel reli bad rite nw bcoz of it. so I’m so SORRY NONI!!! trust me I dun mean 2 4get abt ur BIG DAY. I’m really SORRY.

Malacca Watercity SUCKS BiG time. really. I’ll nvr recommend to any1. the room that we stayed was big & gt bathtub so I’m quite happy abt it. but de minus points r these: 1) de swimming pools full of ALGAE & it’s GREEN & freakingly small. 2) de facilities there juz BAD reli BAD. de playground like want to collapse. 3) de toilet’s BIG but flooded bcoz there’s only 1 pipeline to the sewage (I dunno how 2 xplain it). Watercity was sooo BAD dat my family cancel our stay for de next day (3D2N bcomes 2D1N) den we head off to TIARA BEACH RESORT (TBR) located at Port Dickson.

my sis-in-law really wants to go there bt wen we checked through de net, de place was fully booked at dat particular time (so we decided to book Watercity). bt little dat we knw, TBR onli allow walk-in booking, NO advance booking. hmm… I dunno y they do dat. so on Fri (we stayed in Watercity for a night), we tried our luck by going there & ask for any vacancies. N yes we got it!

de place was freaking NICE, BIG & GREAT!!! de facilities there were de BEST U could ever find. I think they gt 4 swimming pools, 10 slides, arcade, live performances (on dat day ours was Elvis & some Shaolin thingy), & oh ya they gt ‘KaraOK Jamban’ 4 a cost of RM1.50 per song. out of 10 slides, I tried onli 2 & I hurt my back a lot. hehe… didn’t get to sing any song bcoz de ‘KaraOK Jamban’ were full of people & we didn’t want to wait bcoz there were lots of ppl want to try it. although TBR facilities were de BEST, de room was like… BAD.

it was so ironic cos WATERCITY: room = 2 thumbs up, facilities = 2 thumbs down; TBR: room = 1 thumb down, facilities = 3 thumbs up.

let’s nt talk abt the place itself. erm… my family & I (2 cars) depart frm S’pore on Thurs, den we meet up wif my bro who’s been living in JB & convoy with his van to Malacca. at dat time all of us r xcited. bt wen we stepped into Watercity, all dat I could c were pissed faces. den my 2nd bro decided to go out & den my bro & his family, my niece & his bro, & me, ended up in Mahkota Parade in which it’s de first time we went there (luckily we didn’t get lost). we bought some stuff den headed back 2 de stoopid hotel. otw, it’s started to rain & we could c very blur rainbow. my sis-in-law began clicking away to capture de rainbow picts (I nvr brought my bag so my camera’s nt wif me lor). what was surprising though, we could c the perfect rainbow out of our hotel room balcony. so I gt de chance of taking picts wif it & took some video too. den all of us went out 2gether to have our dinner. we ate seafood stuff. there’s 1 thing dat I taste for de 1st time. LALA. it’s remind me of TELETUBBIES. I think it’s de siblings of oyster or smthg.

wen to TBR on Fri, basically my time were spent in swimming pools & free sauna.

Sat I didn’t went to de swimming pool coz we’re going home on dat day & I dun wanna wet my hair. aft checking out of TBR, we went to suppossedly a ‘Pasar Malam’ - nite market, bt de funny thing is dat it closed aft 7pm. hehe… bought some souveniers, actually onli 2 coz I dun wanna ask my bro & sis 4 more money. den I took some horse picts there & guess wad! my bro was kick around de leg by a horse bcoz he’s forcing me to touch it. I’m nt scared of horses, it juz dat everytime someone touches it, it shakes. so I prefer nt 2 touch it.

by lunchtime, we went our separate ways coz those in de car wanna go to GIANT Supermarket while tose in de van wanna go home. ahh! dinner was de BEST. went to Saujana located at Pendas, JB, near Tuas Checkpoint. de SATAY r so delicious. Abg Mamat, belanja CT kt situ lg leh????? by de time I gt home around 9pm, I was freaking tired & I dunno whether I wanna go work de next day or nt. I decided to sleep early & c how was I doing. fortunately de early sleep helps me regain my energy & went to work as usual.

wah! I juz realise diz post is freaking long. hehe… I prefer nt to bore U somemore. so ciao……..

I hv a GF. her name is Denise Robinson. I met her when I rescued her from a house dat I burnt. to make her happy, I have to bring her around de town killing my arch enemies. plz dun get me wrong. I’m nt a LES. it’s de GTA dat I hv been playing. I’m quite happy bcoz a lot of missions had been completed. YAY Me!!! I’m hooked wif it too like Shaff (juz read her blog & she’s addicted to it). other den GTA, I’m addicted to Hindi song DHOOM AGAIN & Esha Deol. hehe…

btw, I’m off to Malacca tmrw morning. wil b back on Sat. I’m going to Melaka Watercity Resort wif my family. diz is de 1st time we’re going there. hope it’s up 2 our xpectations. de nicest place dat I’d ever went to in M’sia is Langkawi & Cameroon Highland. I tink mayb bcoz it’s far frm de hustle bustle of de CT like KL dat makes me like de place. de best resort or hotel will b Berjaya Hotel & Resort LANGKAWI (couldn’t remember de exact name). I really enjoy myself there. wif de monkeys & de trees surround my room. wish I could go there again. mayb 4 HoneyMOON???

I wish I could travel around de world. bt I knw it’s hard bcoz financially, I still depend on my dad. now I’m freaking BROKE. no money. really. den diz 29th March I hv 2 buy some lab stuff for my 2nd yr in RP & go 2 workshop. haiz!!! damm sia. NO Money, NO Movies! I wanna watch HAPPILY ‘N’EVER AFTER. hope it still shown during April. NO Money, NO Wild Wild Wet. sorry Shaff, reli I hv no money diz month. maybe April k we go out 2gthr.

now chatting wif Noni (Madrasah’s fren). I miz her a lot. hope she’s reading this. hehe. can’t wait 4 her to come back to S’pore. I nt onli miz Noni, I miz Majid (Hafizah), Rubi (4-Eva & Eva), Izzah, Rai, Watib (Hafizah). k la miz Amir also & Redhuan Goh. somemore who I miz? my frens dat I dun need to mention coz de list will go on & on.

hmm… I think I dun hv a lot of plans 4 de holiday dat I’m having diz time around. y? mayb bcoz I hv NO Money (how many time I hv 2 say dat?), + 5D4N CHALET & going to M’sia I think quite enuff alrd. I juz wanna finish my GTA b4 school reopen. now couldn’t play coz chatting.

I packed liao for my trip. so Malacca, here I come. wish me hv FUN & enjoy ur HOLIDAY!!! ciao…

OH MY GOD!!! I couldn’t believe diz! I’m on UTUBE! courtesy of SHAFF. haiz! so embarassing. I couldn’t believe it bt still… haiz. actually I dun mind. it juz dat I don’t look nice in it. hehehe… furthermore de videos talks abt my bad bed habit. PAISEH!!!

btw I gt a complain dat my previous entry abt my W14E & W16D Chalet so little. Aiyo! U think I cn remember every detail for those 5D4N izzit? hehehe… luckily I gt Shaff - who wrote it almost perfectly (4gt abt de BP sauce & fountain) & Haira who’s entry is freaking long & she said I’m nice & she LUV me. hehehe…

I did so many bad things during chalet & a lot of my secrets had been revealed. hehehe… obviously de news of me sleep talk hv been distributed to all dat came to W14E chalet, including Mr Koh (RP Maths faci) & Mr Hafidz (RP Cognitive faci). de worst part is, it happened on de 1st nite of chalet & my classmates threatened 2 record me sleeping. I didn’t gib any1 dat chance. No freaking Way! as a result, I slept alone for de nxt 3 nites. I dun mind. btw, I nt onli sleep-talk, I snores & kick around. hahaha… reli. I couldn’t imagine myself getting married. do I have 2 change my bed habit? it’s nt like I could control it once I start dreaming? hmm… maybe I was too tired on dat 1st day. well it happened alrd & nthg I could do abt it.

k k enuff abt de chalet (although there still so many freaking things 2 talk abt it) & sleeping. how m I doing now? hmm… I’m still OBSESSED wif John Abraham & Esha Deol. been watching lots of Bollywood. trying to upload videos at UTUBE. stuck in GTA mission (Big Stakes, Low-Rider). sleeping a lot. dats it la. nthg much going on here wif my life. juz trying to stay alive for a couple more weeks b4 school reopen for my second yr in RP.

I think I’ll leave U here for now. nthg much 2 say. c ya…

ahhh… home @ last. reli miz my bed, my pillows my husband (I mean my lappie la) & of course my DAD!

I went to my 1st & 2nd semester classes CHALET frm Mon (26th Feb) till Fri (2nd Mac) = 5D2N. 2day is Sun & I’m still freaking tired. wanna knw y? coz I gt work on Sat & Sun. damm. wish I excused myself bt I didn’t. so STOOPID!!!

CHALET was sooooooooo much FUN!!! yet tiring & BorinG… ya it’s de truth.

FUN:

- SWIM & SWIM & SWIM….. at MidNite, in de RaiN, in de dArK, nthg could stop me & my frens frm going to de Swimming Pool, Jacuzzi & de Slides (me & W14E were like SneaKy robbErS wen we want to try out de slides @ midnite coz we dun wanna b seen).

- INSECTS, lot of INSECTS….. Ants especially, had been biting my leg & it’s very FreAkinG ITCHY!!! de cockroach incident in RooM 1 could nvr b forgotten!

- FOOD & mOre FOOD….. wad do U xpect sia. 2 BBQ in 5 days. chickens, prawns, corns, sausages, etc. no wonder I want to eat all de time even aft de FEAST long over.

- GAMES….. well I didn’t hv chance 2 play all games. I played a game of UNO & de unforgettable "I’D NEVER…". oh ya some ARCADE (Datona & bike) & Childrens’ PlayGround.

- MOVIES….. I brought my bro’s portable DVD player bt it seems Chee Lup (W14E) gt more movies in his laptop. Dead Or Alive (DOA), Staying Alive, RV, Kung Fu Hustle (de dance part de BEST), Click. I think dats all ah. oh ya some anime courtesy of Chee Lup.

BorinG:

- Too much SwiMMing. didn’t spend quality time wif my frens dat nvr go SwiMMing.

- didn’t play some games wif my frens.

- didn’t had a chance 2 see de Sun rise & go 2 de beach. wasted sia.

- had TOO much sleep especially during de W16D stays coz I think I gt too tired easily.

- cleaning up. DUH! obviously it’s boring.

- nt many picts taken. damm.

BUT still, after 5 Days & 4 Nights, I enjoyed myself & I really hope the rest did too. there were lot of mistakes 2 b learned & de experiences will b remembered 4 de rest of my life.

THANK U W14E & W16D. Luv U Guys so much. MUACKS!!!

Argh!!! I’m suffering a lot of pain 4 de past few days. 1) toothache - 5++ days,  2) back pain - 1 week,  3) stomache - on off ,  4) unseen bruise on my foot - 2 weeks,  5) heartache - 4eva…

I’m so SiCk of myself rite now. I’ve been liking de wrong person. I like John Abraham & Esha Deol too much. Yes! TOO MUCH. everyday I muz watch vid Tauba Tauba at UTube. damm man. muz StOP!!! nt healthy at all!!!

I’m so bored @ home. nw talking 2 Noni & Mr Hafidz (RP faci) & listening to Hindi songs. damm sia I’m in love wif Bollywood. everyday muz surf de net read reviews on my fav Bollywood actors movies. ShEEt! I’m talking abt Bollywood again. so Freaking SicK! StOP CT sTOp!!!

I better go now b4 my sickness become worse.

1st of all, I wanna say SORRY 2 my niece IJA. Ct mintak maaf kerana tidak dapat menghadirkan diri pd hari pertunanganmu atas sebab2 transportation & Ct kerja on Sat. so I m really SORRY. bt still Ct doakn semoga ikatan pertunangan akan berkekalan hungga ke jinjang pelamin. Insy-Allah. (btw I hv no idea wad u call me. I mean Cik Ct or Ct. so nvm ah).

2day is my favorite day for this week I think coz 4 de 1st time ever I get 2 accompany my bro test drive for his new car, Audi A4. it’s really nice but I think it’s smaller than his current car but still I’m nt de 1 paying so it’s up 2 him.

ARGHHH!!! 5 more days 2 CHALET & I can’t wait. hehehe… 2 xcited 2 talk abt anything rite now… so, TATA………..